When people ask me what is my hobby, I would automatically say, reading.
If they stopped there, then it’s all good.
Unfortunately they would after that ask me, whether I read any good books lately. And that my friend, could be a problem if you don’t really read. At least lately.

Yeah so I can’t recall the last time I read a good book. Last few pieces I had was… *ahem* chicklit.
But in my defense, I don’t really have time to read anymore. So does writing. Funnily those two used to be the things I love the most.
And if you even asked me what book would I like to read but just haven’t had the time to, I couldn’t even mention one. Shame on me, yeah

So what do I do now? I can’t even think of something useful. You know, working, tweeting, chatting, socializing and watching reality show crap. Oh my God, writing all that made me feel so bad. What have I turned myself into?

So, yeah.. I should less tweeting, keep all my thoughts for myself until I can write it nto a one decent blog post and start to read. Can you recommend me something?

Few years ago, when I just graduated from college, I had all the plans lied ahead me.
I have decided that I wanted to work in this certain company, got my promotion at the certain age, get married with (at that time) my current boyfriend. Then we would have a kid, buy ourself a house and live happily ever after.

Cliche? Indeed. I bet that’s like the scenario all fresh graduate people have.
But then, as you know, the reality doesn’t really agree with me. That particular company called me for interview. I passed the first test, so did the second, third and fourth. And guess what, I failed the last test.
Then I started all over again, to another company. Funnily the story went the same. They interviewed me, I passed few tests and failed the last. But luckily enough then I was accepted in this prestigious company, where I planned to devote my knowledge and my life and build my career all the way to the top. Some pat of it went smoothly.
But I can say I was very happy there. A good company, a good job and a glossy business card that could make my friends’ eye widened when I handed it to them. Boy how did I feel good. The big fat pay check was a nice bonus, too

Few years later then I realized, only half part of my plan worked. The devotion part. The career? Well you can say I was pretty much stucked. Did I ask for promotion? Yes. Did I try to prove my quality? I guess. Did they promise me the higher position? Several times. But it never came. Until at some point I lost all my confidence. Was I really that stupid? Wasn’t I worth it the title? What did I do wrong? How can I do better? Then I wondered, I might not stretch all my limits there. I might be able to do more.
I tried to apply to another companies. And I didn’t hear from most of them after the first interview. That shrunk my self esteem even lower. The flying colors on my college certificate didn’t do the charm anymore. Until I got another interview, and the second and finally I got it. I got the title, the paycheck and the company was not so bad. Or so I thought.

When I worked there, I really thanked my previous company for all the extra hour they made me to take. I could do the job, beyond every body’s expectation. Then I started to feel, maybe this was my place.

And I was -once again- wrong. The company was closed down and there I was, unemployed and unhappy. Several offers went and gone, I didn’t even remember what really happened. Then some good friends made a call and an offer I could never refuse. I took it and I am happier than ever now. But do I do good? I never know.

One day it hit me. True the first company gave me valuable knowledge and skill. But they never return my self confident. Until now I have never felt I’m doing good enough. I am worry all the time, whether I can finish my job, whether I can master the task or whether I can be the reliable person for the company.
Even when they called me four times, to ask me to work for them again. Even when I heard some of my ex colleagues testify the department was a mess when I left. Even when I found out they need 3 people to replace my position.

So I guess that’s the most important thing for me now. To rebuild my confidence. And I know I can do that, just as ell as I know I don’t do too bad in what I’m doing I don’t know when, but now I’ve found out the problem, it won’t be long until I solve it

No, I won’t say it’s been a while since my last blog post. I know I’ve been saying it like 34657 times (well, but it somehow true, though.. :p)

I was flipping the pages (facebook page :p) the other day, scanning pictures and reminiscing the good old days. Those days when I was poor as a church mouse but still manage to go out six days a week, hopping from one date to another, hanging out with girlfriends, high school friends, college friends, mailing list friends, colleagues, ex mIRC friends and all those groups. I was a happy camper.

Now I earn a lot more than I was back then, still got home late every night, but not from partying. If it’s not work, then I must be socializing with some people for work’s sake. The only thing that remains the same is that I still consider 8 hours sleep as luxury.
I am not saying I am not happy, though. I love my job, I love what I am doing and I am quite happy with what myself have become. But there were times when I missed my old self. Or my young self? Whatever.

It’s funny. I am 27 now, and back then a lot of my friends were at the same age at me. But how did they manage to do it, is a big mystery for me. Oh by the way, I still meet most of them. But we meet on malls or family restaurants on weekend afternoon in exchange of gultik or clubs. Yeah They’ve now a wife. or husband. or mother. or father. or son/daughter in law.

I have new friends, yes. I still go out. Though lately my head is filled with proposals that I should send, meeting on the next day or last preparation on my event. And it’s still fun. But I kinda miss my bolokotonos girls. or my tukanglenong fellows.

Anyway, I went to another gathering this evening. It’s supposed to be an informal gathering, talking about social media and stuff. And I crashed the meeting by talking about makeup with some girls :p And we ended up karaoke-ing and left the discussion halfway :p
Sorry guys… But it was fun Really fun

As if maintaining this blog and writing for Fashionese Daily once in a blue moon is not enough, I just committed to yet, another blog.

Midnight at Tiffany’s talks about movies. And food. Two things I love the most :p Together with Camel, Adit and Raldi, we’ll try to make it work this time

I have just posted my first post, and I hope it wont be the last or the only one

So few weeks ago my blog was hacked by some Turkish hacker.

It took 5 minutes for richoz to solve the problem.

Now you can always identify not cool hacker by looking at the websites they hacked.

Why would they hack MY blog? It’s not that I have thousand of visitors :p No one really check this blog, anyway :p